A Message of Love for Valentines DayFor Men & Women & the Divine within us all
Waking up the LOVER in YOU!
How much you are capable of loving another is in direct proportion to the amount that you are capable of loving yourself!
|If you are guilty of loosing yourself in your relationships STOP! Take a deep breath! Reconnect with yourself, your body, your soul & your spirit.Exercise, Meditate, Spend time connecting with God/Goddess.|
Its so simple & yet for some reason, we forget! How do I love myself more? We cannot love anything unless we truly KNOW it. Otherwise the love is a fantasy. Many love affairs are based on fantasy & therefore do not last. Or perhaps we change & in doing so our compatibility changes.
So how do I know myself?
There is a Path that the ancient greats followed to reach their full earthly potential & this is open to you. Note it is a PATH & not an instantaneous magickal brrrrrring!
The reason I point this out is that this life requires an active engagement with self awareness at ALL times. It is so easy to forget our magnificence & to sink into mediocracy thinking that this is all there is. The world invites small-ness like quick sand induces stuck-ness.
The only way to truly free your LOVING potential is to engage with your KNOWING potential.
So much of ‘LOVE’ is left up to assumption.
The deeper questions are never asked because it all feels so good!!
Surprisingly, although romantic love has been well studied it remains one of the least understood areas of human behaviour & something each of us deserves to know more about.
We are all familiar with how we feel when we fall in love but the ‘chemistry’ behind it is quite revealing!
Romantic love triggers primitive areas in the brain releasing a cocktail of chemicals leading to both physical & emotional responses.Our hearts flutter, our cheeks flush, & our palms may feel sweaty while emotionally we get mixed feelings of passion & nervousness.
1. Dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure, is triggered leading to the type of high we associate with drinking alcohol. Giddiness ensues.
2. The magic of romantic love is further enhanced by the hormones oxytocin & vasopressin. Both are released during intimate contact where skin meets skin. Notably, oxytocin is released during breastfeeding & helps mum & baby bond so it’s not surprising that it deepens connection between sexual partners. It also helps create a feeling of calm & relaxation. Vasopressin has also been associated with long term bonding.
3. Meanwhile, cortisol levels increase in response to any stressful thoughts like ‘does she/he like me?’ This can lead to a lower serotonin level & subsequent overbearing thoughts akin to infatuation!
4. Interestingly romantic love also deactivates a neuronal pathway responsible for negative emotions like fear & critical judgement. We may find ourselves overlooking obvious hinderances to long term connection, like lack of compatibility. We are blinded by our infatuations.
We all know the ‘feel good’ factor! It can be more than a little distracting & sure where is the harm?… well, if you are looking for something longer term you have to ask yourself”What do I want?’
While feelings are very potent & chemistry is important compatibility shapes your ongoing togetherness.
So, the following are important questions you aught to know about your potential mate if you want something more than a flurry under the sheets, a kick out of your chemistry & an achy heart. Remember assumption is the enemy of truth, where did I read that before? Oops Empower Thyself! Thats right! Every word you have been learning to date has been laying the foundation for growth, self awareness & JOY on a level that you never thought possible!
Questions to ask a potential mate in the beginning!!
What are you looking for?
Don’t assume that you both want the same thing. You aught to be asking from the get go! The longer you wait to ask this, the more likely your potential mate will answer you in a way that will make you happy rather than tell you the truth. Also do you really know what you are looking for? Take time. Maybe you desire a selection of sexual encounters. Maybe you desire a longer term loving relationship. What do you really want?
Are you in a relationship right now/ or would anyone be offended by the fact that we are meeting each other romantically?
Never take it for granted that the slate is clean when you meet someone for the first time. If you want an exclusive relationship then make sure your intended feels the same way!
Do you prefer monogamy? If so, how do you define monogamy?
Does this mean being both sexually & emotionally exclusive to one another? Would you be emotionally or sexually available to anyone else while in a relationship with someone? This means that ex girlfriends or ex boyfriends can’t just show up & expect the same connection as before. Make room for your someone special. The end. I remember Founder Gudni putting it so beautifully a long time ago. Between an exclusive couple there is an inner circle that no one else enters. There are outer circles encompassing family, friends, colleagues but there has to be that space that is only for you as a couple. Are you willing to create something like this together?
Questions about their last relationship.
You may want to leave these questions until a few dates in, but it will have a bearing so don’t leave it too long. How long ago was their last relationship… you want to be careful of investing in someone who is on the rebound. How long was the relationship? Is your date a serial non-investing short term dater & are you just one in a long list? Or was it a long relationship? It is generally felt that it takes someone 50% of the time they spent in the relationship to get over it. It can of course be shorter if they are actively working on themselves & taking responsibility for their feelings. So ask why it ended. Is your date putting all the blame on their ex or are they openly accepting of their part to play? Do they exhibit insight & growth as a person? Or was it genuinely a horrendous situation in which case, do they have self-esteem issues? Ask them, if you were to ask their ex why it ended, what would they say? This will help you understand their ability to take the desires of their partner into consideration. The answers to these questions will give you a fundamental insight into the amount of personal development your date may or may not need to do.
Of course you want to know how they feel about you.
This is a reasonable question. It’s not because you need validation, but you genuinely would like to know where this is going. You could say you enjoyed their company & you would like to know, based on their first impressions, what they think of you. If they are hesitating & not all in maybe be cautious about how much you wish to invest going forward.
It’s wonderful when a date seems to be moving forward into a real connection but equally, if it is not, you learn from the experience & move onwards!
STOP letting your thoughts eat you up inside. Instead, concentrate on creating the life of your dreams!
Take full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words, actions. No one else is making you feel a certain way. Now they may be treating you in a way you don’t like, & if you don’t like it, you address it.
If there is no change you can always call it a day.
Why am I making this sound so simple?
Because it is.
We complicate things because we don’t like change.
We prefer to be comfortable or to accept ‘less than’ because its easier than radically changing our lives. But change is the nature of living. Growing is in our very nature.
Loving is who we are, if we are brave enough.
|Wishing you courage enough to explore, Knowledge enough to love yourself & passion enough to meet your desires with full engagement!Love
About the Author
Divina Dr Ann Donnelly
MB MRCGP DRCOG DFP DYT Dippallmed
Graduated from Queen’s University Belfast in Medicine in 1992. She is a member of the Royal College of General Practitioners. She holds Diplomas in Obstetrics & Gynaecology, in Family Planning, in Palliative Medicine & in Yoga Teaching. She has Studied with the British Medical Acupuncture Society & the London Homeopathic Hospital. She is a NLP practitioner & an Emotional Freedom Therapy Advocate. She is a Facilitator for Advanced Communication Skills for health care professionals.
Dr Ann has also been instrumental in helping develop a Foundation Degree in her local North West Regional College in Holistic and Integrative Therapies in the Faculty of Science.
She is often consulted as a medical expert in the media including Yahoo, Cosmopolitan & Glamour.
Dr Ann began her studies in Metaphysics with the Modern Mystery School in 2006. She has graduated as a Life Activation Practitioner, a Healer & Guide. She is also an Ensofic Ray Practitioner & Fundamental Ensofic Reiki Teacher. Her studies have developed her understanding of the importance of ceremony in healing & she is an Egyptian Priestess & a Wiccan Priestess both in the Lineage of King Salomon. She is an International Teacher with the Modern Mystery School while continuing her studies as an Apprentice Universal Hermetic Ray Kabbalah Teacher.
She also serves as a Member of the Counsel of 12 women